CHANGING RELATIONS: A NEW SERIES EXPLORING THE NATURE, CHANGE AND EVOLUTION OF PARTNERSHIP RELATIONS.
This is a series of articles that were reported on Cosmic Vision News, starting on February 24, 2017, relating to the changing energies and dynamics of human relations, especially among couples or those in committed relations with others. With the changing energies upon the planet, and also the shifting human and planetary consciousness, many are moving, if they have not already moved through, the awareness that relations have changed.
Our global condition has placed unrealistic standards on relations, while also undermining those same relations by putting more stresses upon individuals that ultimately impact the relations they have with others. This could be family, professional, or a committed relation with a special partner.
The ROOT cause of ALL conflict in the world - from global to personal - comes down to ENERGY - and a competition to control and manipulate the energies of those around us. Everyone does this, and this pattern developed from the particular LIFE-path experience that each unique individual has. As a child, one learns how to respond to the 'control dramas' (or pain bodies) of the parents, to get the results the child wants or needs. Without awareness, these dramas continue into adulthood, where they are once again passed along to children.
As humanity and our world evolve, each human is being called to do self-reflection, and begin healing unresolved issues to help build stronger, harmonious, and more peaceful relations with everyone, but especially in their committed relations.
- PART ONE - AIRDATE FEBRUARY 24, 2017 http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/270 ( 1:06:58 )
- PART TWO - AIRDATE MARCH 3, 2017 http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/271 ( 1:14:46 )
- PART THREE - AIRDATE MARCH 10, 2017 http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/272 ( 1:05:56 )
- PART FOUR - AIRDATE: MARCH 17, 2017 http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/273 ( 50:12 )
- PART FIVE - AIRDATE: MARCH 24, 2017 http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/274 ( 52:54 )
- PART SIX - AIRDATE MARCH 31, 2017 http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/275 ( 49:14 )
- PART SEVEN - AIRDATE: APRIL 7, 2017. http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/276 ( 59:01 )
PART ONE - AIRDATE: FEBRUARY 24, 2017.
TO LISTEN: http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/270 CLICK 'PLAY' AND GO TO THE 1:06:58 MARK.
This week, I would like to start exploring the nature and the energy of relations. As humans evolve, the way we interact and communicate with others, is becoming increasingly more important. As one human awakens, one may find that suddenly something is different among family members, or among colleagues, but especially among partners, and perhaps even one’s children.
It’s a great feeling to come into contact with new information that is so exciting to one individual and one wants to share it with others, only to find that, on various occasions, that information is rejected, and the individual suddenly begins to feel isolated from those around him or her.
This series is going to focus primarily on relations between partners in any kind of committed relation with another.
I wish to start by stating the following: I consider any relation between committed individuals to be a sacred bond and experience. Whether it be a heterosexual relation, or any other kind. They all have a function and purpose in advancing the evolution and experience in this physical 3D form. Never having been in a same sex relation myself for example, at least not in this lifetime, I may not be able to relate to certain aspects of these relations, It does not mean that I do not honour them. I do.
Please know that I am not intending any disrespect upon those beautiful souls in any other kind of relation, in presenting this series. Any relation based in love is to be respected, cherished and honoured. In this context however, I will be referring mostly to the heterosexual relation.
A few interesting articles have crossed my path over the last few weeks, causing me to reflect on the nature of relations and I have to reflect on this also for myself, even though I am sharing this with you.
The evolution of relations has gone from a more Victorian-era approach, meaning getting married young, having the 2.6 children, for example, and having one paid job while the woman primarily tended to the home, for the rest of their lives. This evolution has gone in multiple directions since then, with not only multiple orientations, but also the fact that most people will no longer only have one job, but many have not yet even been able to find a job, and many children are being forced to stay at home due to the economic environment that has been created.
This has caused people to have feelings of insecurity - meaning that they are unable to provide for themselves, and forget being able to provide for another. There are those who have been fortunate to have jobs, and they have become critical of those whom they may perceive as ‘lazy’, because they are unable to find a meaningful job.
There is the evolving 3D role of women in our current world, with women becoming more empowered and they are reclaiming their role and status within the world. The same can be said for people of the gay and lesbian communities, although in the other orientations, this movement is still young, and it is still being birthed into the larger global consciousness. Yes, I understand that things are still not perfect for women, for gays, for lesbians or for the other orientations, but things are evolving. Arguably, things are no longer perfect even for the heterosexual community.
The question therefore becomes who and what is responsible for socialized perceptions of relations, and why is love, in its purest and most simple form, being commercialized and yet ironically, ostracized at the same time? The message being put out is that love and relations are important, and yet at the same time for all those who have been unable to create meaningful relations, for whatever reason, are left to feel ‘less worthy’, because they have been unable to live up to an unrealistic standard. Sound familiar? It is almost exactly the same thing that has been socialized into the world concerning ‘beauty’ or a woman’s body needing to fit a certain pattern.
Perhaps the same thing could be said about the nature of men.
Men are being given a bad reputation. In many cases, we deserve it. We have been socialized into being aggressive, sexual, protective, and to not show emotion. White men especially have been responsible for most, and arguably all of the major ills facing humanity and our planet.
When I have given presentations on relations, I speak about how the pressures of our current world have forced people away from the true purpose in the LIFE-paths. By being forced directly, either by parents or by one’s social expectations, or indirectly, by one’s economic status, people are forced into situations that are not ideal for one’s own spiritual growth and service.
In trying to fulfill this standard for others, or in trying to do a job that one hates only to pay bills, this prevents one from giving one’s best to one’s relations. In their unhappiness, they falsely look outside of themselves, believing that another can replace the unhappiness they feel inside, only to discover, days, months or years later, that it did not fulfill that emptiness inside. Of course, years later, children may now be involved because the partners believed that a child would complete the emptiness.
In some cases yes..in many cases no. Therefore, many relations were ending, and divorce rates soared because people began to realize that despite the socialized conditioning of many years ago, people could no longer stay in relations they were no longer happy being in.
John Gray, author of the older, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus series of books, explored the nature of the dating process.
Men have been socialized into being providers, and this new world where women no longer need men to be providers has created an identity-crisis of sorts within men. They no longer know how to feel useful to a woman. This can cause friction even from something really simple.
Here is an example. A woman comes home from work, tired, stressed and upset about something that happened that day. As a woman, she wants to let it out and share it. Another woman will immediately understand, and allow her friend to vent - just to get the energy out. A man sees that his partner his hurting, and unintentionally wants to do something to fix it, or make her feel better. This is often not what the woman wants.
She just wants someone to share it with, and then she feels better. The man, by doing what he thought he was supposed to do, may suddenly find himself in a conflict without knowing or understanding why. By sharing, the woman was saying: let me get it out of my system, and then I will be fine. The man is hearing: ‘help me, I’ve been hurt. Fix it.’
A very simple miscommunication, and yet can lead to a massive fight, and in extreme cases even an end to the relation, if both people are too caught up in their egos to see the energy dynamic that is playing out. Had the man understood this, he could have ‘fixed’ it by just listening and doing nothing. She could have helped by asking him to allow her to just vent, and that she would love and value him to just give her a few minutes to vent. This way he feels appreciated, even if he is only listening.
James Redfield, author of the The Celestine Prophecy series and author Eckhart Tolle, have both explored the nature of the competition for energy in relations. Redfield calls this competition ‘control dramas’ and Tolle uses the term ‘pain bodies’. Both are accurate in their own way and describe the dynamic. For now, I will use the term ‘control dramas’.
In any kind of relation, when things are not working out to the satisfaction of someone, one will resort to a tactic that allows one to take energy from another. At the root of ALL conflict in the world, from the global to the personal relations…any conflict comes from a competition for human energy, and this competition comes in numerous forms. Redfield describes four primary types:
The Intimidator - who uses physical force or the threat of physical force to push others into submission. People surrender energy to the intimidator for fear of being hurt. The United States on a global scale has been an example of this. An abusive partner is a personal example.
The Interrogator - one who consistently seeks to find fault in others and to makes others ‘wrong’, so that one receives the validation of being ‘right’. Someone who is constantly being critical of another, is seeking self-validation. There is the saying that many people do not want the truth but only the validation that what they believe is the truth. So many people are critical on social media, when in reality, they are seeking to validate their idea of truth. If one does not accept that, then one may resort to becoming an intimidator.
The Aloof drama - is harder to explain but is a trick where people intentionally do not offer all the information when it is asked and instead keep forcing people to ask more and more questions, to keep their attention, and therefore their energies flowing into the one using this drama.
The Poor Me - the victim who uses guilt to steal energy from others. On a personal level, one complains about something expecting sympathy from others or by claiming to be hurt and laying guilt on others if they do not fulfill a certain expectation. On a global level, the Zionist agenda uses this tactic. A global ‘poor me’, using alleged crimes against them as a reason for everything they are claiming.
Everyone uses one or more of these dramas when things are not working out. These dramas were learned in response to the dramas used by parents, friends and family when the individual was young. An abused child for example, may become either an Intimidator or a Poor Me, depending upon what works. This drama then manifests in adult relations and in most cases it is subconscious.
For over a decade, I have defined a relation, and in this case I am referring to two people in a committed relation, I have defined a relation as being: “two people who are committed to helping the other fulfill his or her highest potential in the world”. At the same time, it is challenging to do this when one has challenges loving oneself. How can one expect another to love being alone with you, if YOU do not love or enjoy being alone with you?
As more humans worldwide awaken to the deeper, energetic nature of the world we live in, and as we move into spaces of healing various physical, emotional, mental and spiritual blocks within us, one’s approach to relations will be … hopefully… more evolved. This does not necessarily mean ‘perfect’ however. We will all continue to grow as one searches for meaningful partners.
Gary Zukav in his book, ‘The Seat of the Soul’ wrote the following: “A soul that is committing violence is hurting deeply, for a healthy and balanced soul is incapable of harm”.
Violence can exist in multiple forms and can even be unintentional, based upon one’s socialized values. It can be physical, emotional, mental and this therefore affects the spiritual nature of all involved. In this sense, ‘violence’ can be interpreted as the use of control dramas upon another for one’s own personal, energetic benefit.
Zukav, on his website, shares this following insight:
http://4d94f34431d007ded661-447df47dfcb7c6ce15582f704200ab42.r2.cf6.rackcdn.com/Ap-and-SP-clip-from-eCourse-video-EDIT.mp4 - CVN NOTE: This video promotes a spiritual partnership workshop offered by Zukav. The references to this workshop were removed from the audio that was aired on the newscast.
CLICK TO VIEW WEBPAGE - SeatOfTheSoul.com : Homepage for Gary Zukav, author.
More and more of humanity is choosing consciously a shift in how they approach relations, while others are beginning to look for something more meaningful, even if they have not yet begun to explore or understand what this new relation energy is about.
Over the coming weeks, I’ll look at several articles and videos that may help further the understanding of relations and how they are evolving, in the hopes that it may help people to choose more meaningful relations at this time, and ultimately help to lift the energetic vibration of the planet towards something better that millions worldwide are now claiming to want.
PART TWO - AIRDATE: MARCH 3, 2017.
TO LISTEN: http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/271 CLICK 'PLAY' AND GO TO THE 1:14:46 MARK.
CHANGING RELATIONS: A NEW SERIES EXPLORING THE NATURE, CHANGE AND EVOLUTION OF PARTNERSHIP RELATIONS.
Humans have taken their external experiences and interpretations and channeled them into their personal relations, in the form of an energy dynamic I referred to as control dramas or pain bodies, and passing them along to children and to others around us. This competition for precious human energy has been at the root of all conflict that currently exists in our world today from the global to the internal and external relations created by every single individual.
Nature, whether it be animal or human… and yes, humans are ‘animals’ but for the purposes of identifying them separately, I use separate terms, our world has attempted to explain the difference between character traits identified as ‘alpha’, ‘beta’, ‘omega’ and others.
Although science has observed historically, a hierarchy in nature that has served to help preserve the evolution of the species, it can also now be argued that humans have been given a false history, while also being fed various identifiers that have served to ‘label’ and separate one part of humanity from another. Therefore, any identifiers of ‘separation’ have therefore only existed as a means of perpetuating the enslavement and control of humanity through these identifiers of separation within our species. On a scientific/natural level it has served to keep humanity within the duality and illusion of separation, while on the spiritual level, it has served to give certain humans who choose to awaken, the opportunity to begin an evolution that seeks to move humanity and the planet to a more LIFE-honouring Oneness.
Humans worldwide have been socialized and conditioned into gender labels such as alpha ,beta, omega and others. We have been socialized into the idea that certain labels are ‘better’, ‘more cool’, ‘more attractive or more desirable for having a strong family.
Of course, the idea of a ‘strong family’ in the past may have required qualities that some call ‘alpha’. With the evolving planet and consciousness, even though we still identify with the idea of the ‘preservation’ of the species, this is a lower vibration way of thinking and being. We are evolving towards a more non-physical and possibly a dual physical/non-physical existence - what some may consider a more spiritual evolution of a different vibration.
We are now realizing that there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, ‘good or ‘bad’, but merely that who one is, in each moment of ‘now’. We are here to identify our purpose, find our truth and share that truth, while also seeking to heal whatever socialized conditioning we may have been born into for our spiritual growth and the overall collective evolution.
Famous journalist Edward R Murrow has been quoted as saying that: “We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home.” Of course, he was talking geopolitically. I am going to present this definition in a more spiritual context, and say that we cannot manifest freedom and peace in our world, by deserting it within ourselves.
As I have given presentations on global peace in the past, I have explored briefly how this is connected to personal relations. I speak to people about looking at their LIFE-paths, by drawing a vertical line. The bottom being when one was born, and the top being when one finishes up here to continue in the LIFE AFTER LIFE. In between, one can begin to identify key events and experiences both positive and negative through one’s LIFE-path up to the current moment. In my case, I was able to identify through my experiences, that I am being prepared as a communicator of a very complicated message, to the people of the world. It would take too much time in this story to explain the exact details of that.
My relation experiences, and my lack of relation experiences and much more have contributed to who I am, as have the financial experiences I have had. You may also be able to see a pattern in your world. Each choice either keeps us on our path or takes us away from that path. If one is off of one’s path, then one may not be connecting with the best people to find happiness in one’s personal relations. This is easier to show to people through a diagram than it is to explain, but I hope that you are able to get the idea. One tries to substitute one’s unhappiness by thinking that one can change it only by accepting a new relation or a child, without changing anything else in one’s life.
Although odd miracles are possible, this is generally not common with most people. It takes awareness and effort to not only own and heal one’s own life, but to be compassionate and supportive as one’s partner also strives to heal her or his life. If both are willing to take that journey together, the pattern can move both back to their ideal LIFE-paths, even if it means separating at a later time. If one or both are unwilling to put in that effort, nothing will heal, nor will any happiness be restored in the long-term.
Ginny Marston, writing for MetaMissy on Feb 18 explores a case known as ‘wounded healers’. Marston writes the following: “ The Wounded Healer is the idea that there are those who seek to heal others because, in doing so, it helps themselves heal. If you have a need or want to help others because of a difficult past you may be a Wounded Healer.”
Marston identifies nine characteristics that she believes identifies the ‘wounded healer’ They are:
1. You are committed to self growth – always looking to better yourself by working on you.
2. You are open to new ideas, seeing if they will make you more loving, at peace… a “better” person.
3. You are good at giving advice to others, and know that the advice you give you would have given yourself, especially your younger self. This makes you happy knowing that you are helping others and in return healing yourself.
4. All your life you knew that you wanted to help people. You may not have known what industry or how you were going to do it, but you knew helping others made you happy.
5. Only through struggle will you know true happiness. You believe that without struggle we cannot know true peace.
6. You have a desire, which sometimes turns into a fixation, on wanting to fix everything. It is hard to balance the “perfectionist” and the “near insanity” in you.
7. You know your purpose in this life. No matter how big or small. Whether it is working on a worldwide cause or by one person at a time you know what you need to do.
8. Despite the difficulties you experienced, you are grateful, as you know that they were needed to make you who you are now.
9. It is difficult to not let your need to heal take over your life. It is who you are and what makes you feel best, so you are driven to those who need that from you.
Marston adds that wounded healers feel empathy and not just sympathy for another. “They become connected on a spiritual plane helping each other and thus transforming both. The Wounded Healer is often the victim – he who must suffer the wounds of life to understand. One first becomes wounded and then over time learns to self heal their wounds, and in part, this is the act of healing others. So it eventually becomes a path of service, based in the empathy of shared pain and experience.”
A warrior queen or king may look for a warrior partner. Wounded healers may look for others who are also hurting. The so-called warrior spirit may need to learn how soften up with a bit of compassion and vulnerability. The wounded healers may, if they are aware, be able to uplift and empower each other into their higher warrior service. All together, we can empower each other against the global cabal, and shift human and planetary consciousness to a more evolved and peaceful vibration.
This is why I often remind listeners to not put me up on a pedestal that I do not deserve to be put on. I am just like all off you; neither above nor below - but just moving along together with you, trying to empower the greatest difference we can.. together.
CLICK TO VIEW WEBPAGE - 18FEB17 Ginny Marston, MetaMissy.com : Wounded Healers.
PART THREE - AIRDATE: MARCH 10, 2017.
TO LISTEN: http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/272 CLICK 'PLAY' AND GO TO THE 1:05:56 MARK.
FACING OUR SHADOWS: THE CONTINUING SERIES ON RELATIONS EXPLORES THE FACING OF THE DARKER SIDES WITHIN US. With part three of a continuing series on the energies and dynamics of relations between people, we explore a bit of the darker side, addressing and facing the shadows within us.
Hollywood and the entertainment industry have spent decades attempting to mold the perceptions of people into having or searching for ‘the perfect body’ or the ‘perfect romantic relation’.
Subconsciously, it is possible that two souls may their find their way to each other, and both may have an unexplained attraction or perhaps even a ‘familiarity’ with the other individual. If one or both individuals have fallen off their own LIFE-paths and are seeking a relation as a way of escaping the unhappiness in one’s world, this is very likely to end up in a failed relation, unless both partners learn to see the pattern and take active steps to heal their lives and move forward in a way that honours, empowers and uplifts each other in their respective truth, or LIFE-purpose.
Most humans have been socialized into repressing their shadows. We all have them. The shadow part of us may hold negative energy patterns such as traumas from one’s current life, and it is possible that one has energies from one or more past lives that are re-playing in the current physical life. Lightworkers often are taught to focus on the Light, and hold energies of Light, peace and love. While this does have its role and purpose, sharing a journey together with another soul means learning to be vulnerable and to express and hopefully heal, shadow energies within oneself.
Shane McNeil, writing on Facebook on March 1st shares one part of a Mayan Oracle that relates to our shadow sides. The Oracles shares the following: “ The shadow part of self is often viewed by the ego as “bad”, when actually it is a very potent and a creative force. The disowned or unconscious parts of ourselves are truly the keepers of great wisdom. Shadow is simply the face of the light that is unseen. Through working with it, you are provided with the opportunity to heal yourself and live a fully integrated life. Free yourself from the viewpoints of difficulty, drama and struggle. As you integrate your shadow issues and become more ‘transparent’, the projections of others begin to literally pass through you without creating charged reactions or emotional hurts. In transforming ourselves, we help transform others and the Earth.” - The Mayan Oracle-
CLICK TO VIEW - 01MAR17 Shane B McNeil via Facebook : The Wisdom of Shadow. https://www.innertraditions.com/the-mayan-oracle.html - InnerTraditions.com : Ariel Spilsbury and Michael Bryner, ‘The Mayan Oracle - A Galactic Language of Light’. (IF ANYONE WISHES TO ORDER A BOOK ABOUT MAYAN ORACLES)
Jona Bryndis, in an article appearing on the LoveHasWon.org blogsite, explains a bit more about dealing with the sexual, shadow aspects within oneself. She writes the following: “ Waking up to our inner worlds often means discovering and dealing with forgotten, repressed unloved or hidden inner aspects of our personality – in self-healing we call this Shadow Work. For most of us it can come with another uncomfortable revelation – the discovery of our sexual shadow aspects.
Becoming aware of sexual shadow traits in oneself is a natural part of our self-transformation and ascension process and should not to be judged or condemned - nor excluded. The fact that we are becoming more aware of our shadow traits doesn’t mean that we are ‘bad’ or that we have been bad in the past; it simply means that we have a higher consciousness level now and, that we can live a more aware and responsible life from here on.
What we weren’t aware of in the past is past – it's part of our learning curve and all this means id\s witnessing our naiveté in the past - but what we have become aware of in the present is now a part of our consciousness and therefore needs to be dealt with.”
Many, if not most, are unwilling to face this aspect of themselves for their own reasons. Bryndis continues, writing that: “ Dealing with shadow traits is challenging and requires a bit of courage at first, but if we face them with the tenacity of bone crushing honesty with ourselves, it can become our most rewarding training ground for learning how to transcend lower and align to higher vibratory energies:
Forgiveness, Gratitude, Compassion, Joy, Trust, Respect, Grace, Non-Judgment, Self-Love and finally Surrender – represent the main healing resonances of letting go of our past programming. They are the core energies for self-healing and positive self-transformation. Shadow Work can also be tempting and mesmerizing and sometimes even counterproductive, if our emotional and mental state is clogged and our energetic alignment unbalanced. Clearing and Connecting modalities can help to balance our energy flow and show us how to maintain a proper heart-connection throughout the process.”
Bryndis also observes that: “The thing that makes most of us feel uncomfortable about our hidden or secret ego aspects coming to our awareness is partially due to collective programming but also the thought that they may not be as hidden or secret as we thought. In other words, the hardest part about dealing with sexual shadow traits is not the fact that we may have some, but the loss of our innocence and the fear that they may be visible for others.”
Men have been socialized to not show vulnerability in front of women, and women have been socialized to some degree to accept only an alpha male and reject the man who shows too much vulnerability or emotion.
These dynamics become more complicated as two people enter into a new relation together. Bryndis shares that: “ Shadow traits develop when ego becomes controlling and out of balance – when we are not willing to work on our inner resistances and attachments and try to hide them instead. The development of sexual shadow traits is often rooted in collective role modeling but also through karmic collective and family aspects. Most of us relive our karmic propensities through our romantic and sexual relationships unaware of their hidden dysfunctions. It takes a moment of disengaging from our inner programming in regards to Masculinity & Femininity to realize that most of our sexual shadow developed out of defensive ego-mechanisms to cope with negative experiences of the past.”
In the article, Bryndis offers four examples of sexual control patterns, and with the exception that she uses different names for each pattern, she identifies very closely to the control dramas that I have reported on earlier in this series. Control dramas can very easily be translated into the sexual control patterns mentioned by Bryndis. As explained in the earlier parts of this series, everything is energy, and all conflict results from the attempts of one person or more to control the energy of another.
Bryndis also makes it clear of the importance to understand that: “… sexuality is not the same as sexual shadow. Sexuality and its expressions, such as playfulness, romanticism, raunchiness, or primal physicality are neutral in itself, and part of our physical experience as humans. It is comparable with hunger, thirst, need for shelter and social interaction.”
How might one begin working with one’s sexual shadow? Bryndis shares the following: “ try to look at it just as any other incongruence you can feel about yourself...do not make it special...it is not. Instead, focus on what feels true to you and change/correct some of your patterns as you go.
The process of Self-Transformation is:
1. Reflecting & admitting
2. Clearing & accepting
3. Connecting & changing
4. Integrating & transcending which leads to
5. Healing & Amending.
Bryndis concludes with the following: “Part of being human is to bounce back and forth between various energetic states; this too needs to be accepted and surrendered (integrated); But the development of our consciousness enables us to liberate ourselves from the control patterns of lower states and therefore to choose which state we want to be in. The purpose of our life then becomes to strive for transcending lower state as they arise with no need for defense or control patterns.”
CLICK TO VIEW - 28FEB17 Jona Bryndis, LoveHasWon.org : Dealing with Sexual Shadow Aspects.
PART FOUR - AIRDATE: MARCH 17, 2017.
TO LISTEN: http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/273 CLICK 'PLAY' AND GO TO THE 50:12 MARK.
REQUIREMENTS FOR LOVE IN HIGHER AWARENESS RELATION.
Finally, in health-related news, continuing with our series on the changing dynamics and evolution of relations.
I have mentioned the book by James Redfield numerous times, ‘The Celestine Prophecy’. Many listeners are familiar with it. I have also mentioned the four main control dramas earlier in this series. This is related to Redfields’ fourth insight which describes the struggle for power.
CLICK TO VIEW - CelestineView.com : Explanation for Insight #4 - The Struggle For Power.
When humans allow themselves to become disconnected from ‘higher awareness’ energies, we fall more into the ego, and also the dramas to try to keep control. This is why the root of all conflict in the world is linked to the conscious/unconscious, and direct/indirect control of human energy.
Moving beyond the dramas and the competition for human energy requires all people within the committed relation to do some inner work, and last week we explored some of the shadow aspects within us.
An article by Andrew Harvey appearing on The Urban Owl website on January 9th, looks at evolutionary relations and explains what he believes are the seven requirements of love.
To have an evolutionary kind of love, each of the committed partners needs to find some kind of relation with a Divine Creator Source, regardless of however one relates to this. Scientifically speaking, it could simply be the Universal Creative Force, or the ALL THAT IS. Having some kind of relation with a Divine Source of loving energy allows both partners to not only see within, but also to observe the world around, including one’s partner or partners, with greater love and compassion. This Harvey’s first requirement.
The following are excerpts from Harvey’s remaining six requirements of love. He shares the following:
The second requirement for an evolutionary love is that both beings must develop a mastery of solitude. In a true evolutionary relationship, what can exhilarate one person the most is the other’s solitude, because they know that solitude has the potential to make them a billionaire of generosity, of insight, and of creativity.
The third requirement is that in a true evolutionary relationship there is an equality of power, and that equality is born out of a profound experience of the sacredness and dignity of the other person’s soul. This gives each person the freedom and the energy and the joy that they need to go out into the world and fulfill their destiny. This is crucial because in the past there has been a vision of inequality of power.
The fourth requirement follows on from the third: if you are going to have a beloved-beloved relationship, you have to center your whole being and work and evolution in God. You have to be a master of your own solitude so that you can work on what is necessary to deepen that sacred relationship of the Divine.”
The author, Harris, chooses to use the word ‘God’, although I am choosing to call it ‘Divine Source’, or ‘Divine Creator’ or ‘Divine Creator-Source’. I also refer to it as LIFE, capitalized, the ever-evolving process; physical/non-physical, visible/invisible that supports and sustains the presence of everything not only on Earth, but also beyond. It is up to each listener and reader to find an expression that one can accept, allowing one to embrace this larger aspect of oneself that includes all things.
“The fifth requirement is that both lovers completely abandon any Hollywood sentimentality about what relationships actually are. As love becomes more evolutionary and conscious, so does each lover’s understanding of each other’s shadow. One of the essential roles of this new love is to make each person in the relationship the safe-guarder of the other’s shadow—not the judge of the other’s shadow, not the denier of the other’s shadow, but someone who recognizes where the other has been wounded, and safeguards and protects them with unconditional compassion without allowing themselves to be mauled or manipulated by the other. This takes an immense effort, because it takes an immense effort to understand your own shadow, and an even greater effort to face and comprehend, without illusion, denial or repulsion, the shadow of the other.
The sixth requirement is that if you are going to enter into the evolutionary process, you have to accept that it never ends, never stops unfolding. Evolution is fundamentally a death/rebirth cycle that repeats itself in higher and higher dimensions, and any authentic evolutionary relationship must have the courage to go through the deaths that engender the rebirths.
The seventh principle requirement is that from the very beginning of this adventure into evolutionary love you must make the commitment for it not to be just a personal orgy, a cultivation of an oasis of private pleasure. You must engage consciously in this relationship to make you stronger, to serve the planet, to recognize that it is a relationship not only grounded in God, not only infused by sacred practice, but it is from the very beginning dedicated to making both people more powerful, more reflective, more passionately engaged with the only serious truth of our time: The world is dying, and we need a major revolution of the heart to empower everyone to step forward and start doing the work of reconstruction and re-creation that is now desperately needed.”
CLICK TO VIEW - 09JAN17 Andrew Harvey, TheUrbanOwl.com : Evolutionary Relationships: The Seven Requirements Of Love.
Each requirement, as shared by Harvey may or may not exactly resonate with each listener. What is important is that both partners communicate clearly, compassionately and often to identify an evolutionary process that is as uniquely different and equally beautiful to individuals involved as it is to the relation involving the committed individuals.
Harris’ requirements have merit, generally speaking. Sources have been describing this movement toward a higher awareness as ‘ascension’, but there are two types of ascension: there is one’s personal ascension and then there is the ascension of the planetary body and consciousness. This will not resonate with everyone at this time, although many listeners will fully understand what I am saying.
Supporting one’s partner and moving through an evolving relation can be aided by at least a general awareness of changes taking place within our bodies. An article appearing on the Healing Energy Tools website explores continued symptoms relating to ascension but also symptoms that require attention in an evolving relation. This article offers the following:
“Have you been wondering lately why you seem so tired – almost to the point of exhaustion, or feeling irritable, angry, lonely, sad, frustrated, or all of the above, and you can’t figure out why? Have you been asking yourself why you’re behaving in ways, or feeling things, that don’t seem to fit with who you know yourself to be, or that just don’t make any sense?
Are you wondering why the people in your life seem to be reacting differently to you? Either they’re more excited than ever to be with you, or the complete opposite, they’re picking fights with you or being upset with you for no apparent reason?
Perhaps in going through what you consider to be a normal day, at times you feel as if you simply cannot keep your eyes open, like sleep is simply begging you to come and be with it? Does life at times seem empty and without meaning, even when you’re doing things that you used to love? Welcome to the ascension process, and the symptoms that many experience along that path. The primary thing to know is that you are not alone, and things will get better.
When confronted with these unusual and often unwanted experiences, the first thing we typically want to know is why?
The article offers at least twenty symptoms that are worth noting and being observant of within oneself and one’s partner. A sample of a few of the symptoms are as follows: intense stress; depression; anxiety, a need to eat often; unusual aches and pains in the body; continual neck and upper back stiffness; emotional periods of up and down; night sweats; feeling cold; dizziness and loss of balance; itchy eyes and blurred vision; memory loss and difficulty accessing words; difficulty remembering recent events or conversations; feelings of disorientation and also a feeling of being ‘out of body’; feelings of intolerance and also feelings of being lazy.”
This article will also be available with this story in the show summary and posted as part of the evolving relations series this week.
CLICK TO VIEW - 14MAR17 HealingEnergyTools.com : The Shift from Carbon base to Crystalline Silicon Structure bodies.
At the moment, the plan for next week, is to begin exploring articles relating more to women and then the week after I will explore articles relating more to men, and then see where this series on relations will go after that.
PART FIVE - AIRDATE: MARCH 24, 2017.
EVOLVING RELATIONS: CONTINUING SERIES ON CHANGING ENERGIES AND DYNAMICS IN PARTNER RELATIONS.
TO LISTEN: http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/274 CLICK 'PLAY' AND GO TO THE 52:54 MARK. STORY NUMBER 8 IN THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THOSE WHO WISH TO READ THIS PART ONLY.
LOOKING AT ARTICLES THAT ARE MORE RELATED TO WOMEN
This week, as we begin to move beyond the energies that used to define relations and begin expanding into a higher awareness as it relates to relations, we look at several articles relating more specifically to women.
The current status in the world has caused both men and women to not only doubt themselves, but also those whom they may be interested in. An article appearing on the minds.com website explores 12 things that women do unconsciously when they have been hurt too many times. The article notes the twelve things women do as being the following:
We (referring to women) doubt everything, including the intentions of the guy who shows interest in us.
- We never have anything good to say. Even if a guy is seemingly perfect, we are always looking for a catch to save ourselves from trouble.
- We accept sadness - All the heartbreaks and ignorant behavior of men we loved has left us perpetually sad. We don’t allow happiness to set camp in our minds and bodies anymore and are comparatively better at coping with sadness than we used to be before all the heartbreaks.
Romance looks funny to us.
Our secrets are ours -Expectations and then disappointments have left us so hopeless of any meaningful relations that we decide to keep some things to ourselves so that no one is able to use it against us.
We crush big time - We mostly crush on men we can never get because we know that we will never be with them and that is one good way to stay away from getting our hearts broken again.
We play and ruin - Due to having abandonment issues, we abandon people before they abandon us in order to prevent any more pain. In order to not be ignored, we ignore first. We play games like this to protect our hearts and these games ruin things for us. We play with, and ruin, the wrong people.
Love becomes a joke -we start treating love like a joke and stop thinking seriously about it because that is what it has been made for us. Failing more than once often takes all our hopes down and there is no one to blame for it except the people who failed us.
We become the flirting kind - We flirt and fool around with more than one man because staying with just one man means giving him the power to hurt us.
We jump back in the dirt willingly - We have become so used to pain that we get high on it now. We are already so messed up, what worse can happen?
Love stories make us cringe - Love stories are just too fictitious for our taste now. Not only do we laugh at them but they make us cringe big time.
- We secretly, very secretly hope - Despite being hopeless and rotten at the heart, we secretly hope for things to get better because, after all, we are humans who need love and attention. We might get the latter but love is hard to get and we are not yet giving up at life yet. We hope someone heals all our wounds.
CLICK TO VIEW - TheMindsJournal.com : Women Who Have Been Hurt Too Many Times Unknowingly Do These 12 Things.
As one begins to observe the patterns in one’s life and perhaps begins to see how one has been taken off her or his LIFE-path, one can also begin to see that the partners he/she is attracting are directly related to the energies that are present within oneself. If one is on a LIFE-path that makes an individual unhappy, the odds are less that one will find a suitable partner to have a healthy relation with.
If however, one is able to recognize that ‘good angel’ who has appeared to help someone find his or her way back, AND if that same individual is ready, willing and able to do the self-work and self-healing to use that relation for positive healing, then it may be possible for one, and possibly both people involved to find their way towards a healthy relation and healthy service to humanity and the planet.
Of course, everyone has their own advice about what others need. People love to think that they know the LIFE-paths of others; their pains; their challenges and their opportunities. Each soul has a specific set of LIFE-path experiences for one’s spiritual growth, so some of this information requires discernment. What may not be right for one person hearing this right now, may change next week or next month, after someone has had the courage to reflect on the information shared.
Emily Higgins, in an article appearing on TheMindsJourney.com shares her insights about the kind of guy a woman should wait for. Here are a few examples. She writes: “ Wait for the guy who reaches for your hand on the street and holds it proudly.
Wait for the guy who almost always places his hand on your thigh – in the cab, on the train, on the couch, under the table at the restaurant. A simple gesture communicating everything.
Wait for the guy who makes the silence comfortable. Who builds your confidence. “Wear the shoes.” Who is passionate and takes his job seriously, yet still makes you a priority.
Wait for the guy who makes you laugh – genuinely laugh.
Wait for the guy who introduces you to friends and family with no fear.
Wait for the guy who never stops trying – pizzas with half pepperoni, home cooked meals eaten at the kitchen table, spur of the moment dinner plans, flowers – just because flowers, wine pit stops on the walk home after dinner, framed pictures, handwritten notes.
Wait for the guy who will continually put in the effort with your friends and family, knowing just how important they are to you.
Wait for the guy who never tires of forehead kisses. In the morning when your eyes are still closed. At night before he inevitably falls asleep and turns to his side.
Wait for the guy who shows up, no matter what. Who talks about your future without question.
Wait for the guy who makes you smile, because you knew through every bad date and lonely cab ride home, every ignored text message and every heartbreak, that patience and hope would lead you right to where you are right now.”
CLICK TO VIEW - Emily Higgins, TheMindsJournal.com : This Is The Kind Of Guy You Should Wait For.
The irony is of course that there are guys out there who think, feel and dream of being this kind of man for a woman, but these are the ‘nice guys’ who often get discarded because many women have been socialized to reject ‘nice guys’. I will include in this week’s health story an article about why nice guys stay single.
Kathryn Hogan shares an article on why nice guys stay single. According to Hogan, nice guys will not get girlfriends, and if they do, it’s likely to be shallow, unfulfilling and short-lived. Hogan writes: “That’s because ‘nice’ is what you do when you’re scared to be who you really are. It also separates us from the real, authentic experience we’re having every moment.
It gives us an excuse not to share that authentic experience with the people who are experiencing it with us. Because it’s pre-set and default, it’s autopilot. It’s a way for us to cop out. Nice is a way to momentarily disown the dirty ugly parts of ourselves that we are so afraid others will see.” To Hogan, being ‘nice’ means denying the shadow within us.
To be honest, I’m not sure if I personally agree 100% with this article. Yes, maybe being ‘nice’ is hiding a shadow. However, society has socialized men into being the ‘macho, alpha male type’, and although alpha men have the confidence to be jerks in front of women and women fall for it, there are also men who are genuinely nice, but who are also waiting for that genuinely wonderful woman whom they can trust to share their vulnerability with, without being judged or criticized.
CLICK TO VIEW - Kathryn Hogan, TheMindsJournal.com : Why Nice Guys Stay Single.
An article on the DavidWolfe.com website offers 8 signs that you have found a true gentleman. The article offers the following:
1. His intentions are good - A gentleman may not always say or do the right things. He may not always succeed. But he tries, and that’s what counts.
A gentleman’s primary goal in life is to leave the world a better place than he found it.
2. He respects the needs of others - Maybe your need in a relationship isn’t to be pampered with chivalrous gestures but rather to maintain a healthy degree of independence. A true gentleman will respect that, and he will respect the needs of everyone else.
3. He takes care of himself - A true gentleman sees the value in life itself. That can be seen in the way he takes care of not only his appearance but also his physical and mental health. He will undoubtedly encourage you to do the same.
4. He knows where he stands - and he respectfully sticks to it. a gentleman is able to display confidence without being arrogant. He knows what he believes in and he’s not afraid to say and act in accordance with it.
5. He can be self-sufficient. When dating a gentleman, you never get the impression that he expects you to be like a mother to him, coddling him and taking care of his every need.
6. He makes you a priority in his life.
7. He has self-control. Even in the most heated of arguments, a true gentleman will never make you fear for your own physical safety, because you know he has a firm grip on himself and his emotions.
8. He is thankful. Lastly, a true gentleman knows that – no matter what his position in life – he is fortunate in one way or another. That is at the root of his kindness and loving demeanor. He sees the world around him not as something out to get him but as something that, though flawed, contains a great deal of beauty and happiness.
He doesn’t expect anyone to look up to his moral standard or change his or her views to match his but he will not go along with things that contradict his core beliefs.”
CLICK TO VIEW - DAvidWolfe.com : 8 Signs You’ve Found A True Gentleman.
An article by Alex Jean Ecton speaks to every girl who has ever lost herself to a toxic man. The author goes through a laundry list of items about how she dated a man who did this or did that. What she closes with in the article however, is more profound. She writes: “ I dated someone who made me stronger.
Because I left him, I feel even more empowered than ever. Because I left him, I remember what it’s like to be the girl who is always smiling but I remember the person who took that away. Because I left him, I got my corky sense of humor back. Because I left him I have met so many people that admire me for who I am and don’t knock me down for it. And never again will I tolerate someone who does. Because I left him, I know what it feels like to be truly loved.
Because it was in leaving him I learned to love myself again.”
CLICK TO VIEW - AJ Ecton, TheMindsJournal.com : To Every Girl Who Has Ever Lost Herself To A Toxic Man.
In an article for women to help them learn how to open up to love, Renee Wade offers some advanced steps for an open woman by inviting women to ask themselves these four questions:
1) What is my decision not to open up costing me right NOW?
2) What is my lack of openness costing my relationship?
3) What has my refusal to open up cost me in the PAST?
4) What is something positive about my refusal to open up in the past? In what ways has this served me well? “
Wade then asks women to: “focus on the positives of your lack of openness, and apply this positive aspect to your decision to BE open instead. For example, you can, conversely, show your care, trust and faith for others by being open. Especially your man. But you have to know this.
For example, if you didn’t open up in order to protect yourself from somebody who was hurting you – know that it’s OK to close up to those who aren’t worthy of your trust. But it’s your responsibility to open up to those who are worth it. You can still choose to close down to people who have bad intentions.”
Finally Wade asks women: “Do you have the courage and strength to open to your man; so as to allow him more incredible bliss, ecstasy and happiness than he has ever had the privilege to experience, by being with you?”
CLICK TO VIEW - Renee Wade, TheFeminineWoman.com : How to Open Up to Love – Learning to be Open.
In learning to love oneself again, can a woman begin to find a balance between the woman she has become, and the woman she needs to be, in order to find a meaningful, trusting and loving relation with a good man?
We’re entering a transitional phase where the socialized values that have corrupted human relations are beginning to cause men and women to re-evaluate what it is that they have been conditioned to want, while discovering what it is that one really wants, and how to find the balance between men and woman who see the game that has been played on humanity, while also seeking the courage to transcend it, by acting in ways that may still be considered ‘untraditional’ by today’s current standard.
Part of the trick to resolving this question comes down to one’s ability to love oneself, and to make the choices that will make a woman happier on her LIFE-path. If she is choosing activities and careers that suit her joys and passions in life, she is more likely to put herself into places of meeting men who share a similar vibration.
With good hearts and an honest intentions, women can find men who will publicly support her independence and her goals, while also savouring the loving vulnerability that comes from two people committed to lifting each up to their highest potential, while also sharing the unconditional love that can accept the darkness of one’s partner, and perhaps even transform and heal each other.
All links will be in the show summary for this story. If more articles about women come across my path, I may add them to the Evolving Relations page on the CVN homepage, or I may consider a follow-up to this particular segment.
PART SIX - AIRDATE: MARCH 31, 2017.
TO LISTEN: http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/275 CLICK 'PLAY' AND GO TO THE 49:14 MARK. STORY NUMBER 8 IN THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THOSE WHO WISH TO READ THIS PART ONLY.
EVOLVING RELATIONS: CONTINUING SERIES ON CHANGING ENERGIES AND DYNAMICS IN PARTNER RELATIONS.
LOOKING AT ARTICLES THAT ARE MORE RELATED TO MEN
It could be argued that things are a little bit harder for men when it comes to love and relations. The cards are stacked against guys because the world we have lived in has been a male-dominated world, and in family situations, men have often been told not to be too emotional.
Today’s independent woman does not NEED a man to survive in today’s world. In the old paradigm, that may have been true, but in an emerging new paradigm, women AND men need attention, love, friendship, companionship, respect, trust and yes, perhaps even faith. This leaves men with a bit of an identity crisis of sorts, because they no longer know what their role really is, in a relation with their female partners.
Women are being socialized to choose or reject certain men, as men are being socialized the same way. At the same time, a lack of touch is destroying men. Mark Greene, offering an article on this subject writes that: “ In American culture, we believe that men can never be entirely trusted in the realm of the physical. We collectively suspect that, given the opportunity, men will revert to the sexual at a moment’s notice.
Accordingly, it has become every man’s job to prove they can be trusted, in each and every interaction, day by day and case by case. In part, because so many men have behaved poorly. And so, we prove our trustworthiness by foregoing physical touch completely in any context in which even the slightest doubt about our intentions might arise. Which, sadly, is pretty much every context we encounter.
And where does this leave men? Physically and emotionally isolated. Cut off from the deeply human physical contact that is proven to reduce stress, encourage self esteem and create community. Instead, we walk in the vast crowds of our cities alone in a desert of disconnection. Starving for physical connection.
We crave touch. We are cut off from it. The result is touch isolation.”
Greene also offers that: “ Is it any wonder that sexual relationships in our culture are so loaded with anger and fear? Boys are dumped on a desert island of physical isolation, and the only way they can find any comfort is to enter the blended space of sexual contact to get the connection they need.”
Men have become afraid of being labeled as sexually inappropriate by women; they are afraid to touch children for fear that it will be sexualized; they don’t want to risk their macho status by being physically gentle and they do not want to deal with rejection when they do reach out.
As Greene notes: “ at the root of all these flawed rationalizations is the fact that most American men are never taught to do gentle non-sexual touch. We are not typically taught that we can touch and be touched as a platonic expression of joyful human contact. Accordingly, the very inappropriate over-sexualized touch our society fears runs rampant, reinforcing our culture’s self fulfilling prophecy against men and touch.”
CLICK TO VIEW - 28JAN17 Mark Greene, http://upliftconnect.com/how-lack-touch-destroying-men : How a Lack of Touch is Destroying Men.
With the lack of touch and lack of emotional trust coming from a woman, men have often been afraid to communicate their needs to their partners.
Dr. Jed Diamond in his article, shares one thing that he believes men want more than sex. He writes: “ Many of us remember the early school dances we attended. If you wanted to hold a girl in your arms, you had to make the long walk across the room with everyone watching and ask the girl to dance. If she accepted, you were in heaven. If she refused you were in hell. The key here is that you must make yourself vulnerable to rejection to hold and be held by a girl.
By the time we become adults, we’ve already been battered and bruised by the world of competition and rejection. We long for that safe harbour where we don’t have to pretend to be something we’re not in order to be chosen. We long for someone who sees us for who we are and wants us anyway, who can hold us and touch, not just our body, but our hearts and souls.”
Men have been socialized to not ask for this, because it makes them look weak or not manly. It is often as difficult for women to give this kind of intimacy. Diamond writes: “ First, women have their own conditioning about men being men. If he doesn’t want sex, they worry that they may not be attractive enough.
Second, a man wanting to be held and nurtured, triggers feelings that they are dealing with a boy, not a man. Women want a man, but worry they have another little boy.
Third, women fear men who don’t feel manly. They know that the most violent men are men who feel weak and powerless. They’ve often had experiences of men allowing themselves to be gentle and vulnerable, only to have them respond with anger and rage later.
It takes a lot of time and maturity for men to admit to themselves that they need a safe harbour where they can be nurtured and embraced by a woman.
CLICK TO VIEW - 17FEB17 Dr. Jed Diamond, GoodMenProject.com : The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex.
A lot is known about the alpha male, but not so much is known about the Omega male. Dr. Carol Morgan in her article, looks at the Omega male however and what makes him better than the alpha. She writes: “ Unlike the alpha male, the omega male avoids risk and confrontation. In fact, they have a bit of a distaste for the alpha males. While they can have a confidence similar to the alpha male, they don’t need to be the centre of attention.
They are just content to not be the one who stands out, and they don’t have a need to compete with other males to be the best. She describes some of the characteristics of an omega male: 1. Introverted 2. Laid back 3. Gentle 4. Kind 5. Empathetic 6. Prefer deep relationships. 7. Wants to work on his own. 8. Not much of an ego. Morgan also notes that: “They might still accomplish just as much as the alpha male *or even more*, but other people may never know. He won’t announce it on Facebook or Twitter. And maybe he won’t even tell his closest friends. He doesn’t need the recognition or notoriety to pump up his ego.”
CLICK TO VIEW - Dr. Carol Morgan via TheEarhChild.co.za : The Awesome Omega Male: What Makes Him Better than the Alpha.
Yet boys and men are often given the advice to ‘just be themselves’. There is this ‘thing’ about being authentic, or just being oneself, and this means different things to different people.
I say this knowing that every individual is different and it is hard to say that one’s own pain or pleasure is more, or less, than the pain or pleasure of another individual. Different people perceive their experiences from within their unique difference, that comes from all the LIFE filters that each individual was was exposed to during her or his life.
Let’s start with this first article from Mark Belden, appearing on the GoodMenProject.com website on March 29th. In this article, Belden comments on four undeniable truths of being an authentic man. Belden writes: “ Being authentic has a price. If it were easy, we’d all run around telling everyone their jokes sucked and their pasta tasted like a Fedex box. The hard part of being authentic isn’t how you handle others, it’s how you handle yourself.
Authenticity requires you to know your inner states, emotions and thoughts, both good and bad. It’s one of those practices that sounds easy, but is really hard and uncomfortable when you are intentional.”
The four truths that Belden refers to are as follows:
“ 1. You Will Question Yourself When you embrace who you really are, you will question why you did it shortly after. This is because being vulnerable is uncomfortable. You are exposed for all the world to see. Your ego wants to step in and protect you. Once you learn discomfort is a part of the process of being authentic it becomes less terrifying and easier to accept.
2. You Will Get Into The Types of Relationships You’ve Always Wanted” - When you start embracing who you are people start leaving your life. This is a good thing because it makes room for the kind of people you’ve wanted around you.
3. You Will Become Polarizing. - People are going to get hurt. Learn to separate from these moments, and to not take it personally.
4. It Gets Easier - The more you act in alignment with who you think you are, the more you can process emotions without judgement. Being authentic may also build confidence, because people may no longer react with judgement, but rather by sharing an area in their own lives where they have been struggling. “
CLICK TO VIEW - 29MAR17 Mark Belden, GoodMenProject.com : Four Undeniable Truths of Being an Authentic Man.
Men have a lot of work to do, learning to not only heal the incomplete parts of themselves, but also to find strength in loving oneself, while embracing the authenticity that seems to define a male these days.
Sean Swaby, in an article also from the Good Men Project website addresses the subject of loving oneself. He writes: “ Love both terrifies and it soothes. It can be weaponized or it can heal. It involves risk, vulnerability and can take you to the heights and to the depths, sometimes all in one relationship… and sometimes all in the same day.”
Swaby continues: “Like many men, for you growing up love may have been talked about, but it may not have felt real. Maybe you could never feel love and certainly not love for yourself? Because of this, love may feel uncharted and untouchable. It is easy to write off your need for love, yet it is important to underline that you cannot be complete without love. Without love, you remain in a cage with walls made out of nothing but fear and memories. It may be safe, but the walls will become your cage. Your feeling of unworthiness may be undermining your happiness.”
CLICK TO VIEW - 29NOV2016 Sean Swaby, GoodMenProject.com : Are You Brave Enough to Love Yourself?
So, if you are an awake and aware man, struggling to find yourself in a very challenging emotional and spiritual world, defining yourself becomes part of the journey that determines that kind of partner one will bring into one’s LIFE-path. This applies to all genders and orientations. In an article that looks a bit more at heterosexual relations however, Holly Riordan, in an article appearing on the Thought Catalog blogsite shares eleven reasons to fall in love with the spiritual girl. Her eleven insights are as follows:
“1. She finds meaning in everything. She believes in signs from the universe. She’s convinced that you came into her world for a reason. That you’re going to give her something invaluable, whether that be scattered memories, a life lesson, or a permanent part of your heart.
2. She’s authentic. She doesn’t see the sense in pretending to be someone that she’s not. She realizes that she has flaws, but that hasn’t stopped her from loving herself and being herself. With her, what you see is what you get.
3. She is overflowing with love. She has love for her family. Her friends. Pets. Plants. The moon, the sky, the galaxy. She finds beauty in everything that she sees, which is why her heart is so huge.
4. She’s forever growing. She understands that it’s possible to have love for herself and to admit that there are things she needs to improve upon. She isn’t perfect, but she keeps trying to reach her personal best.
5. She embraces the unknown. Most people are scared of things that they cannot see, cannot grasp, but she’s different. She appreciates that there’s more to this world than meets the eye. That there are secrets waiting to be uncovered. It doesn’t scare her. It empowers her.
6. She has unwavering faith. No matter how many hardships that she’s forced to face, she still has hope that things will get better. Her strength never wavers, because she knows that the universe is on her side. That it’s going to grant her happiness in the end — as long as she keeps doing her part.
7. Material items mean nothing to her. She would love to be greeted at her front door with flowers, but she realizes that flowers wilt. She would much rather create a lifelong memory than be given a temporary gift. To her, forever means more than now.
8. She feels a strong connection to others. She can’t walk past a homeless shelter or see a stray kitten without being tugged at the heartstrings. She feels like it’s her duty to help her fellow humans (and animals). That’s why she’s so kind. So compassionate.
9. She is one with nature. She can spend hours staring up at the stars, reading a book against a tree trunk, and running her bare feet through the grass. She feels safe in nature. Nurtured by it.
10. She aspires to be at peace. Drama doesn’t appeal to her. She doesn’t want friends, unless she can count on them. And she doesn’t want a boyfriend, unless she can trust him. She’s all about honesty, sincerity.
11. She has a genuine love of life. She’s not like others, who see the world as an evil place filled with hypocrisy and hatred. She chooses to see the good. To focus on the love in the heart of humanity. The beauty hidden inside of each person’s soul.”
CLICK TO VIEW - Holly Riordan, ThoughtCatalog.com : Eleven Reasons To Fall In Love With The Spiritual Girl.
In another article, Kathy Parker shares her insights about what it means to love the girl the guarded heart. We have all been hurt, and many have built up walls around their hearts, and I have done the same thing in my life. This is one of the ‘LIFE lessons’ that I am currently working to heal and release.
Parker writes the following: “ There is nothing simple about loving the girl with the guarded heart.
She is not convinced by flowers and fancy dinners, nor won over by compliments and praise. In the beginning she is a slow dance, one step toward you, another step back, as she learns to trust the ways of your heart and the strength of your arms. The dance may be slow but it cannot be rushed, for she will sense the impatience of your steps and the way they fall out of time with hers.
She will not show you her heart all at once, instead offer you a little at a time, unhurried and watchful of the way you hold each fragile piece. She will watch you closer than you realise, listen to every word you speak and weigh it against every action, searching for inconsistencies, seeking the truth of your word and the intention of your heart.
She will need more reassurance than most, she will need you to stay present, available, mindful of her scars. But beyond her guarded heart lies a soul that contains the wonders of the universe. One that longs to live and love with abandon, that desires connection and intimacy and to be in relationship with someone who sees both her beauty and her scars, and knows how to fall in love with both. Broken, she knows what it means to suffer. But out of the depths of her suffering, she has come to understand love. And her guarded heart waits for the one who understands it too.”
In reading this article, I cannot help but wonder if women are able to be as sensitive to the man who has his own version of a guarded heart, and can be as patient with us as women seem to expect us to be with them.
CLICK TO VIEW - Kathy Parker, TheMindsJournal.com : What It Means To Love The Girl With The Guarded Heart.
CLICK TO VIEW - ElephantJournal.com : She is a Wild Card, the Omega Female.
For men and women, it is coming down to being not only authentic, but also being vulnerable and trusting, while also finding that special ‘other’ who has the same qualities and the same awareness and courage to travel that path with you.
Guys, if you are looking for a meaningful relation that is authentic, awake and aware, here is what you might expect from a partner. According to one article, most men cannot handle a deep woman. A deep woman struggles to find a perfect relation, but I might say that the same could be true for some men. According to this article, here are a few reasons this author believes that men cannot handle a deep woman. The author writes:
“1. She is blunt and speaks her mind.
2. She has deeper conversations. She prefers going to the depths in a relation that most men fear to go.
3. She knows exactly what she wants.
4. When she gets intimate, it is in extremes. She is fearless when she is in love. She likes to cross all the lines and doesn’t care if she gets hurt in the process. She takes pride in being intimate, and she knows that it is not going to make her vulnerable. Men often get scared with women who can be this powerful.
5. She is fearless and profound.
6. She wants a deep relation. She prefers a man with whom she can share her deepest secrets of her mind and expects the same from the guy she is dating. For her, love means opening mentally more than physically. She wants you to tell stories from your past and learn more about your best-kept secrets and fears. Most men, on a contrary hate and fear dwelling in their past, it makes them insecure.
7. She easily moves on. Take your time deciding the future of your relationship and you’ll see that she has no patience dealing with it. She won’t wait; she’ll move on. She is strong and invulnerable, and she can be on her own even if she is looking for something special to happen.
CLICK TO VIEW - TheMindsJournal.com : Why Most Men Can’t Handle A Deep Woman.
So this appears to be the challenge guys: Loving the woman with the guarded heart who requires patience and understanding, or risk missing the empowered, fearless woman who won’t wait for you to make up your mind.
Somehow, we can’t give up. An article on TheMindsJournal.com explains why we will not give up. The article writes that: “ Sometimes we get exhuasted, hurt, scared, or we think too much, but we are too strong to give up on love.
We owe it to ourselves to be happy in all that we do, to be comfortable with our own skins, to be proud of who we are. We owe it to people who love us, raise us, and cultivate us to select a better half who’s going to give us the same care, respect, and affection.
You see, sometimes we get discouraged to give love a try because we’re so scared to fail again. But we have to persevere, to be patient, and to be optimistic in searching for love. Because one day when we’re all curled up on the couch with the people that are meant for us, we’re going to look back on our lives, and be thankful to the moments that we didn’t give up.”
CLICK TO VIEW - TheMindsJournal.com : This Is Why We Will Not Give Up On Love.
PART SEVEN - AIRDATE: APRIL 7, 2017.
TO LISTEN: http://www.cosmicvisionnews.com/item/276 CLICK 'PLAY' AND GO TO THE 59:01 MARK. STORY NUMBER 7 IN THE TRANSCRIPT FOR THOSE WHO WISH TO READ THIS PART ONLY.
EVOLVING RELATIONS: FINAL PART (FOR NOW) IN THIS SERIES ON CHANGING ENERGIES AND DYNAMICS IN PARTNER RELATIONS. THIS PART LOOKS AT GENERAL INFORMATION RELATING TO BOTH PARTNERS IN A COMMITTED RELATION.
This information may or may not be for everyone, as it will depend upon where each individual is, in her or his current space of awareness. Even for those who may be single at this time, they may find something of value in this information, as they consider whether or not to enter into a committed relation.
For those who have been single a long time, it is possible that they may be feeling guided towards seeking some kind of committed relation with a partner. For another, he or she may be thinking it is time to end one’s current relation, so they can focus on healing and reconnecting with one’s own truth and purpose at this time.
There is no ‘right’, ‘wrong’, ‘good’ or ‘bad’. It is merely where one chooses to be, in her or his awareness, in this current moment of ‘now’.
An article appearing on the Elephant Journal website on March 25th explores the nature of love, and that one often cannot know what love is, without experiencing that which love is not. An argument could possibly be made, from the more spiritual perspective that even that which we may not perceive as love, may be love in a disguised form, allowing one to learn better who one is, through an experience of being that which one is not.
According to this article: “ … we only discover what love is by losing it—or ourselves. We learn not just about who we are, but about what love means to us through having our heart broken.
Pain is the teacher of pleasure.
Each new relationship we enter into, we expect that it will go better than the previous ones—that somehow, the mistakes we made in the past won’t translate or appear within a new partnership. And for a while, that seems true enough—until once again, we are triggered by the other person, or because we begin to react and self-destruct because of our issues involving intimacy.”
The article also adds the following: “We have to go through certain types of relationships that will provide the necessary lessons our soul needs to learn. Each one is different yet integral to our overall development as a lover and partner. We need to be challenged by our feelings of worthiness, our issues of intimacy, and perhaps most of all, our own level of acceptance toward ourselves.
As much as we may be triggered by another, we are only able to learn as much as we are willing to learn. We could probably dress all this up in decorative conscious language, but it really all comes down to whether we are owning our sh*it—or not.”
The article notes three main areas of attention: worthiness, intimacy issues, and self-acceptance.
The article notes the following about each of these: “ If we don’t feel worthy enough to be in a healthy relationship, then we will continue to work through those issues until we realize what our own worth is.
Intimacy issues are something that we carry with us from our childhood experiences into our adult romantic relationships. Are we able to let someone into that space and share it with them? Or do we self-sabotage and push the other person away before they have the chance to let us down?
We must make the choice to radically love ourselves for every aspect of our soul and psyche. It’s about embracing our flaws and oddities enough to let them out and see how they play with another person’s.
We can only allow someone to love us as deeply as we love ourselves.”
CLICK TO VIEW - 25MAR2017 ElephantJournal.com : We Don’t know what Love is until we Learn what it’s Not.
In today’s world, an evolved relation with another begins with an evolved self-awareness and self-love. As I write and read these words, I am getting hit over the head by a cosmic baseball bat, and the voice seems to be asking if I am paying attention to what I am sharing. This is the way things go on many occasions.
Many relations are ending at this time, because the energies are forcing people to deal with issues that were never dealt with from the beginning. Choices made from a lack of awareness at the time, are now coming to the forefront, and it has brought many to a cross-roads where a final choice must now be made.
For those who may be feeling unhappy in a current relation, an article from TheMindsJournal.com looks at five signs that it is time to let go of a relationship. The article notes the five points as being the following:
When the pattern of behaviour does not change over time.
You are always exhausted and never feel happy or even empowered.
The relationship often brings out the worst in you!
What stirs the passion in you and gives you fuel to get on with life is the reason for conflict.
You always think of letting go of the relationship.”
CLICK TO VIEW - TheMindsJournal.com : Five Signs It’s Time To Let Go Of A Relationship.
Letting go is one thing, and being ready for the next relation is another. In this next article, it offers eight signs that one is ready for a new relation. These signs are offered as being:
You sense a feeling of attraction.
You notice others and find attraction.
You start getting better treatment.
You start feeling inspired by your personal likes and hobbies.
You get back on the groove with friends.
Your health starts improving.
You are giving a shot at romance again.
You start feeling hopeful. “
CLICK TO VIEW - TheMindsJournal.com : Eight Signs You Are Ready For A New Relationship.
There is also the saying: “If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders.”
For the spiritually aware couples, perhaps they have decided to work through all issues together, and give their love a chance at growing. Another article from TheMindsJournal blogsite offers six steps to mindfully dealing with difficult emotions in relationships. These are as follows:
Turn toward your emotions with acceptance
Identify and label the emotion - Instead of saying, “I am angry”, say, “This is anger” or, “This is anxiety.” In this way, you’re acknowledging its presence, while simultaneously empowering you to remain detached from it.
Accept your emotions - When you are feeling a certain emotion, don’t deny it. Acknowledge and accept that the emotion is present, whether it is anxiety, grief, sadness, or whatever you are experiencing in that moment. Through mindful acceptance you can embrace difficult feelings with compassion, awareness, and understanding towards yourself and your partner.
Realize the impermanence of your emotions - Allow yourself to witness and observe your emotions with kind attention and patience, giving them the latitude to morph, and in many cases, completely evaporate.
Inquire and investigate - After you have calmed and soothed yourself from the impact of your emotions, take a moment to delve deeply and explore what happened.”
CLICK TO VIEW - Dr. Toni Parker, TheMindsJournal.com : Six Steps to Mindfully Deal With Difficult Emotions In Relationships.
CLICK TO VIEW - TheMindsJournal.com : How To Handle Anger In Your Relationship.
Those who make the effort to deal with difficult emotions probably understand that there is a deeper reason for their being together. Others may not have this awareness. Are there perhaps signs that may guide one towards knowing if they are meant to be with her or his partner?
In a third article, the following six signs you are meant to be together with your partner:
You Respect Each Other.
You Share Many Of The Same Interests.
You Tell Each Other Secrets.
You’re Not Jealous.
You Fight Well.
You Finish Each Other’s Sentences.”
CLICK TO VIEW - TheMindsJournal.com : Six Signs That You Are Meant To Be Together.
Making the choice to have an evolved relation is really easy. Putting into practice all the qualities that create an evolved relation is a totally different thing. As one learns to oneself, one may be able to more easily let go of expectations about how a partner is to be. For those who are desiring to explore more of this, the link will appear in the show transcript/summary for this story.
CLICK TO VIEW - TheMindsJournal.com : 15 Things You Should Stop Expecting From Others.
Evolved relations are coming from a higher consciousness and many may not even be consciously aware that they are drawn to certain people at certain times, for the purposes of certain lessons.
Perhaps more now than ever before, people are starting to get a sense of familiarity when they meet certain people. There are sources that believe that we encounter many of the same souls that we have existed with in past lives. An article on the LifeCoachCode.com website from Feb 25th offers this information: “ Basically, we come from one energy source that we call LOVE. Through our lives we get glimpses of this beautiful energy and call it many names. In fact, the romantic love we feel for each other is only a glimpse of this source.
This LOVE source is our home, our real home where our soul comes from. And we come here, in this world, to project this LOVE through our interactions with others.
But as we go through our lives we forget where we come from, we tune out of this LOVE source and we hurt each other intentionally or not.
All people that we meet through life are our teachers, whose role is to help us to release from the poisons we are holding to.
Relationships are possibly the best reflection of our karmic debt. We are looking at the LOVE source but through a mosaic of our poisons.
We are building a relationship with a person who reflects all of our suppressed ‘dirt’ which is preventing us to radiate with pure love.
In a relationship we are not growing by expressing our best features, which are not the real us, but by having conflicts.
The moments of conflict are worth gold, because important things are happening. When we have our first moment of jealousy we should ask ourselves: ‘Why am I have this feeling? What is this feeling within me?’”
CLICK TO VIEW - 25FEB17 LifeCoachCode.com : THIS Is Why We Meet The Same Souls In Every Incarnation…
Another article refers to marriage, and although many recognize the institution of ‘marriage’ as a church-state creation, there can still be what some call ‘spiritual unions’ between souls choosing to commit to each other without going through all the commercial ills of church and state.
In this article, there are two quotes referenced that are worth sharing. The first is this, from an unknown source: ““Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is a beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for; Companionship, intimacy, friendship etc … The truth is, that marriage at the start is an empty box, you must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage, love is in people, and people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage, you have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art, and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, of keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.”
The second is from Abraham: “ Tell everyone you know: “My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they’re doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel — and then, you’ll love them all. Because the only reason you don’t love them, is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good.”
The article adds this: “Relationships aren’t about making an unhappy person happy nor are they about making an unloved person feel loved. Relationships are about sharing the love and happiness that is already present within you with one another, growing, improving and evolving together, both emotionally and spiritually. “
CLICK TO VIEW - TheMindsJournal.com : Relationship Regrets: Everything you got to know if you are in or out of a relationship.
What happens in situations such as these when old souls reconnect in the current lifetime? Brianna Wiest in an article from the Thought Catalog website on 01MAR offers 17 insights that may help one recognize a soul-level connection:
You spend a lot of time alone, together.
After getting together, one or both of you may experience a serious emotional awakening, which on the surface seems like a “breakdown.”
You don’t ever want to be apart from each other, but you are still capable of having a life outside of them.
Your unresolved emotional issues begin to resurface.
You’re both idealists, and used to being the one to have the last word. This is something you have to reconcile.
You immediately feel like family to one another.
You do not feel like you have to “earn” the other person’s love.
You get along so well it feels like you’ve known one another before.
Even if you don’t have a ton in common, you still feel like the same person.
The circumstances that led to you two meeting seem serendipitous.
You realize that you have a lot to learn from each other.
Your paradoxical traits become more evident.
You are humbled, you begin to really understand how little the material matters.
Though you’re both mature individuals, you help each other revert back to childlike joy.
You have to be mindful about maintaining your individuality.
You are truly best friends and partners, and you’re capable of being all of these things to one another because you worked so hard on yourselves beforehand.
You are both growth-oriented individuals, and your relationship reflects that.
CLICK TO VIEW - 01MAR17 Brianna Wiest, ThoughtCatalog.com : 17 Things That Happen When Two Old Souls Start Dating .
There are even those who believe that your life partner has been pre-determined, long before you even meet this individual. An article on the Peace Quarters website explores this phenomenon, for those who believe in this possibility. For those who have experienced this and can say it is true, the article explains it this way: “You will always return to one another, for the magnetic pull that exists between the two of you is unstoppable. You already have a commitment that you have not even stepped foot into yet.
When you finally reach that point of self-acceptance, you are living from the heart. Your lifelong partner will do the same, which will result in a relationship that is not based on fear, rather, a relationship that is based on each other.”
CLICK TO VIEW - 05APR2017 Peace Quarters, PeaceQuarters.com : Cosmic Marriage: Your Life Long Partner is Already Decided.
Some may then ask: “Have I already met my partner and missed her/him? How will I know?” An article on the SpiritMindEnergy.com website describes at least three ways one may recognize an individual with whom one has had a past-life connection. If you have experienced one or more of these connections with an individual than you have had a past-life connection with him or her. The article shares the three criteria as follows: “ 1. You feel an instant connection or repulsiveness. 2. Your connection is almost telepathic and 3. You see it in their eyes. Each of these are explained in greater detail in the article.
CLICK TO VIEW - 06APR2017 SpiritMindEnergy.com : If You Experience ANY Of These 3 Signs After Meeting Someone, You’ve Known Them In A Past Life…
Old souls approach love and companionship differently. An article explores this from the TruthInsideOfYou.org website from May of 2016. According to this article: “An old soul is essentially someone who is young, but prefers to be around older people, and has a more mature outlook on life than most people their age. Old souls tend to spend a lot of their time alone, and a lot of people seem to misunderstand them. Contrary to what people think, old souls aren’t lonely, they are just comfortable with themselves and enjoy their own company. When it comes to love and being in relationships, they also express their love differently”
The article offers 15 characteristics of old souls, but due to the length of the story, those qualities can be read from the article in the show transcript.
CLICK TO VIEW - 06MAY2016 TruthInsideOfYou.org : How The Old Soul Loves Differently.
An article from the David Wolfe website offers 8 problems that only an old soul will understand. A few have already been covered in this story, but two of them that really hit home for me personally were that old souls struggle with infinite possibilities from limitless angles. Although beneficial in one sense, it can be very crippling from another sense.
The other problem/challenge is that old souls aren’t sure if they will ever find their home. They have a constant feeling that they don’t belong, even when they’re with friends and family members. They go through life seeking a soul mate or a kindred spirit and a place that feels like home.
CLICK TO VIEW - DavidWolfe.com : 8 Problems Only Old Souls Will Understand.
CLICK TO VIEW - Lynn Mystic-Healer - "Founder of SET(Spiritual Emergency Training):
There is a Spiritual answer to every human problem or crisis! SET-the Soul Activation Process connects us to intergalactic Soul Power Connections that will bring new Healing, Unity, and Peace via new focus on SOUL Thoughts , feelings and actions from love and light to alleviate the old limited, fearful, sick, upset, reactive EGO MIND thoughts, feelings and actions!"
Having an evolved relation can be as easy or as challenging as one chooses to make it. Choosing partners for the wrong reasons or out of a desperation for attention or from loneliness will not guarantee a successful relation, although it may be possible. We are being called to heal ourselves at this time, and although a committed partner may be able to help bring joy, companionship, romance, intimacy and more… it ultimately comes down to both partners’ and how ready each one is to make a meaningful contribution to not only one’s own personal growth, but the growth of one’s partner and of course the growth of the relation over all.
A few extra links will appear in the show transcript/summary and this will appear also on the ‘Evolving Relations’ webpage, located on the CVN homepage.
CLICK TO VIEW - 09APR2017 BodyMindSoulSpirit.com : 6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal
CLICK TO VIEW - GaiaScenicsView.com : Carl Boudreau: The Eclipses of August 2017 – Reasons of The Heart.
CLICK TO VIEW - Foster Gamble, ThriveMovement.com : Want Your Relationship to Go Beyond Mars and Venus?
CLICK TO VIEW - 03MAR2016 Sean Swaby, GoodMenProject.com : The Six Loves That Create Lasting Love.